I believe that an Eastern view of marriage dramatically helps reframe what marriage is all about. From an Eastern spiritual standpoint, the purpose of marriage (and there is a purpose) is to help husband and wife to chip away at their own egos, their rough edges, so that eventually two can truly be as one. To be one, and yet be independent beings, is no small task. When you realize that the conflicts in marriage are merely expressions of one's own ego coming to the surface, then you have much greater hope and a perspective to help you through the hard times. How can we achieve unity as couples until we deal with our own issues of anger, greed, envy, jealousy. From a spiritual standpoint the purpose of marriage is to Go find God together... to be as one together, to assist each other, rather than blame each other. These rough edges are not bad. They're good . . . as long as you don't fall into blame. Your anger, your envy, and your jealousy are not caused by your partner. They are merely brought to the surface by your partner. Like sandpaper, marriage sands away the rough edges.
Now back to the first fallacy of marriage. Sex is highly over-rated in America. We're obsessed with it. I'm not saying sex is bad. I think the Europeans have a more relaxed attitude toward sexuality. In the context of marriage, sex is about communication. It's another way of two becoming one.
